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After a year of dedicated work and countless hours sleeping on keyboards, our furry colleague Mr. Whiskers has been officially promoted to Senior Developer. His debugging skills through keyboard walking have been deemed invaluable.
We've installed a super-modern AI coffee machine that can detect employee fatigue levels through eye scanning and automatically brews coffee of the right strength. Rumor has it, it already learned to make cappuccinos with cat latte art.
Our office plant, affectionately named "CodeLeaf", has been promoted to Junior Code Reviewer after consistently catching bugs that humans missed. Studies show plants have an innate ability to detect bad code through photosynthesis.
Dear colleagues! It's written in plain English on the air freshener canister: DO NOT HEAT ABOVE 40 DEGREES. And you put it on the radiator... I don't want anyone to get their bits blown off... Hope I will be heard.
What started as a physics engine error has become the most popular feature of our new game. Flying chickens are now officially part of the gameplay!
Starting today, every Friday is officially Bring Your Cat to Work day. Studies show that purring increases productivity by 47% (data may be slightly exaggerated).
Our new AI programming assistant shows impressive results. Though sometimes it suggests solutions like "let's rewrite everything in JavaScript".
We're announcing a contest for the funniest bug-related meme. The winner gets pizza for the entire department and the right to be called "Meme Lord" for a month.
Our educational game for programmers, where you catch exceptions with a net, unexpectedly became a hit among IT students. Who would have thought!
New experimental methodology: daily stand-up meetings are now conducted standing on one leg. Observed that meetings became 3x shorter and 2x more effective.
Colleagues, reminder that tomorrow is Thursday, fish day. According to our company tradition, no one heats fish in the microwave on this day. Just like on all other days.